We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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