so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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