yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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