that's an acceptable place to lick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My life is pants optional.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
