He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
