Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize