she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
