Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
