I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
