So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
