I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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