You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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