apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize