I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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