It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
