we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
