Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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