There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
