dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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