Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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