She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
