planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
