why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The uberlube is also flammable
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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