I skipped work to stalk him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize