Sponge bath it is.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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