I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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