Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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