i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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