Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
