is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
