Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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