If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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