just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
