My nipple is on Facebook.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
