hell yes lets make some ravioli
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
