someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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