Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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