I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
