Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
