You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize