What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize