It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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