i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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