if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
