Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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