I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
