glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it hurts more in the daytime
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
