So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
