she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
