We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
