So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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