You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
