you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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