How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
love makes seman taste better
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
