Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
