I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
