: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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