Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
