I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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