I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
