You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
