when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
