why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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