Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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