3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
