He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
