He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
