I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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