the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
